Paige Caiden's Tale

Taking a new toll in life

Thursday, June 29, 2017

This is going to be a really serious topic, please bear with me.

Web producer. I realized my skills in writing, editing and engaging with people online have brought me to this part of the job review. I have set my right foot when I focus my passion on writing blogs as my top priorities in my high school years. I realized that instead of wanting to do many things at once, I actually wanted to improve myself in the things I love to do the most. that's why I learned HTML by my own, improve my vocabulary by reading more, generating more ideas for content by writing and etc. I did all of it before and I believe if I hold onto that dusty path again, I can move something in me for my career.  It's hard to actually live without knowing where you're going to go or do in your life even if it's just for the next couple of hours. Not that everything has to be planned thoroughly but it's safer if we have an aim rather than just going through life blindly. I felt pressure about this topic from the moment I have this anxiety that's just waiting it's time to explode in my brains. I felt the urge to think about my future fast, to gain money fast but can't move a single thing cos I haven't found my passion yet. I delayed things. A lot. I felt bad too, for myself as I aged and for my parents as they still have to work to feed me and also my sisters who have to bear their only eldest sister living in a time loop. I want to escape, to be better. For me, for them but I have to try to do this at least once. It's scary indeed, but I felt like if I missed this opportunity I might be stuck in the same regrets over and over again.

To be honest, I am glad I found this title today. Even if I have to pursue a really harsh and never-ending pressure for my long-lasting career, at least I can bear those mind pressure with some emotional getaway. It is always so calming to have my own time writing again. I just can't escape from writing. From handwritten. to blogs, Twitter, Tumblr, Wattpad, also writing ideas for projects on video or books. I think I am made for writing things no matter how incoherent it is. Maybe that is why it felt so easy for me to learn new languages. I'm still lazily learning two languages right now and also a few coding language too. I have to pursue this path. I have always wait a moment to post anything because I found my theme is irritating me the most. Once, I went all creative but it is not blogger friendly. And I decided to change to blogger friendly theme and I become uninterested all at once to even look at my page cos I know there's a lot of work to be done. in the editing codes and designing the whole blog again. I know once i started it, i can;t stop. It's contagious and I have a university life to attend to. So, I have to learn to balance between these two things. Cos after my current program ended, I'm going straight for a degree program and I know it's just going to get harder and harder. I have to give this a go. As I am currently focusing my studies in data security, I will try my best to focus on my postings here too.

Look forward to a brand new post and theme. And maybe a brand new side of me too. Stay tuned.

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