11th June.

Assalamualaikum & Greetings.

hey. it's that date of the year again. you might not remember me anymore, but i would always remember this date eventho i don't want to. you'll always appear in my mind allover on this day and i'll have a hard time again. such influence. i know, i'm supposed to move on. i'm 21 and still holding onto something that's never going to happen, but this year it'll be different. but let me tell you a story;

i was just enjoying my time with my family at One Utama and my mom asked us to pose with something on the wall. the wall have this hand painting and there's a small cafe infront of it. i was posing cheekily and suddenly my eyes caught with  the staff from the cafe. and guess what. i thought it was you. my heart dropped. i almost lost my balance there. my whole body turns cold. i tried to calm myself saying it's not you but also hoping that if it's you, you would appear again.

it's been years. i know. you've a stable career now and eventho i wanted to see your well being face to face, i don't think my heart can handle it. i can't even look at your picture straightly without tearing up. it's childish. i know. i don't want to bring back the past and alhamdulillah it doesn't appear as much nowadays. but i still crumble at the thoughts of you. it breaks me. i hate myself for a long time because of that.

there must be a reason that i keep on remembering you. i'm not good with memories you know. we won't ever meet again, but i'll treasure each moments as you're such a bless to me. i can't thank you enough. i just hope i can meet you one day courageously saying "thank you".

i can't end this post well so i'll just end it with Happy 21st Birthday. (i'm the worst in congratulatory speech gosh)

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